It was only a few weeks ago that we were caught up in the maelstrom of decision-making, each day a new wave of what was needed to understand and needed to change. It was a constancy of questions. Should we really be going out for the birthday lunch? Should we be making plans in case we need to work from home? Should we stop catching the tram to school and work and go by car instead? Should we be working from home starting next week? Should we even be going anywhere today?
And all of this was set to the music of the (re)construction of our kitchen which was having a much bigger impact than I realised at the time. Not just the noise, but the coming and going, the busyness when we were supposed to be slowing down. And of course the underlying uncertainty of income (become less underlying and more of a reality every day).
The nights were long, my sleep was broken. I was mining the internet, searching for the answers. It reminded me of my early days in Abu Dhabi when I would wake up and find the timezone where others were already going about their day, watching friends in London settle in for the evening, friends in New York still in the middle of their productive days. And I would try to think through the answers to the questions I was asking myself. But the questions--if I ever knew what they were at all--kept changing.
Now, today, there's less intensity in my life. I've worked out where I'm supposed to be and that's here. In this bubble of sitting still. I don't mind that, it's okay. But I can't stop the constancy of my new question: What comes next?
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